i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
