I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
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just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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