If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
