My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
