Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Houston, we have a squirter
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize