what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
