she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize