omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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