I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Two words: blizzard sex
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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