Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize