im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
