My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
