Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
