Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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