I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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