nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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