id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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