and you said cock pushups were impossible
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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