My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
