he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
