Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
