Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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