i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
