Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she told me i tasted like america
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
