Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize