Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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