I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
