dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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