what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
