Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
