it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
