would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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