Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
