that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
