Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
