I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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