Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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