Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive