You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's just like the Real World with babies
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.