You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.