The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.