PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
