didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
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If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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