I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
