Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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