It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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