Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize