That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
