i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
