Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
