sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
