I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
