I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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