I bet he comes in French.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
