If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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