some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
