Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if only i could text you this smell
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
