As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
