His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
ttyl tear gas
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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