Don't make out with my wife yet
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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