sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
