She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
