I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
