so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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