Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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